brown, maybe muted

there are a lot of things that I don’t want to do but must do because they set in stone the future that I envision for myself, and long to have. there are some things that must go unsaid and be done rather than sitting, rubbing my hands on wooden, mahogany tables and dwelling in anxiety and fear of what’s to come.

maybe I forsee a lot of browns in my future, a lot of deep yellows, greens, oranges, reds. you know, the colours of the earth? there’s something about the deepness of colour that brings out its richness. how the heavy blue of the ocean glistens in the sun, and plummets more into itself on a stormy day; or the way a thunderstorm brings out the richness of the trees, and grass, dazzling greens bathed in fresh springs of water.

it’s possible that we want to make a move, but in aiming and striving towards those things we do it without knowing that we expect others to uplift us, even if we believe internally that we don’t care for their opinions, and in doing so, needing approval, it’s not always the best way to go about it. maybe, and it’s just a thought, you don’t need any approval to do the things you want. to sit amongst the greats, to refine your craft, know yourself, deeply. you don’t need approval to pursue what you feel you need to achieve to get where you want to be and to do those things you wish to do.

and, maybe it’s in rooting yourself to the earth, remembering where you came from and where you are going. as in, ecclesiastes three’s resound: you know, dust to dust, ashes to ashes? and maybe you see the world in colour – be it bright, pastel, muted, dull, deep or, it’s merely blacks, whites and greys. or it may possibly be that you don’t see it in colour at all, and it’s through texture, and shapes, possibly abstract, fluid or dynamic. either way, you have a choice in how you choose to view this world, and how to navigate your way around and through it.

we can sit in the middle of the ocean, in a boat, or yacht – if bourgeois is more your thing – stay out in the middle of nowhere observing endless blue to one side, the mountains and valleys to the other, the split grey and white clouds above, or the bottomless unknown we are held above. we can sit here, and rest, enjoy this scenery, or we can choose the way in which we arrive at our chosen destination. we can figure it out, without damaging ourselves, and learning to work as a team, balancing the other out and creating structure, whilst giving ourselves the freedom to be who we are.

but the cost will be high, and it may take an eternity longer than we’d hope for it to be, but it doesn’t mean we won’t get there.

however, we must move.