autumn is a strange time of year. it’s one of my favourite parts of the year mainly due to: the colours; the anticipation of Christmas; the fashion; the cold weather combined with hot drinks and endless rain; plus, an excuse to not leave the house and just read a book. I mean, what’s not to love?! however, with that comes many other parts of this season that I don’t always enjoy. it’s a time of year for reflection. spring and summer hit you pretty fast, and before you even realise that it’s no longer the new year anymore; it’s already October and two seasons have passed without you really thinking about what’s been, what’s happening and what’s to come.
it’s dancing to slower-paced rhythms, whilst simultaneously trying to figure out what the new timing of the song is in, despite having already adjusted to the new pace but, the texture of the song feels different to the one you were initially familiar with. it’s the part in between summer and Christmas, where Halloween and co., are wedged somewhere into the mix – giving an excuse to stuff your face and spend money that doesn’t need to be spent. it’s easy to get lost in it all, to look forward to each thing one after the other, and the other, and the other, kinda just letting the days blur away without real consideration of what’s going on and how you got to where you currently are. but, life isn’t just made for looking to the next thing.
these holidays give us a chance to be around others, and I think that’s an important thing that we tend to walk past in the midst of everything. we spend a lot of time with those we love during the autumn and winter months. it’s important to note that because at times, these are months when as humans, people, living beings, we tend to feel the most alone and isolated, when in fact we aren’t alone at all.
in the end, we all want the same thing – to love and be loved. in no matter what form, or what way a person shows that it’s what we all desire. to have community, to be understood, no matter how much of a hermit you may be – we want to belong. I’ve been having hard conversations with my people lately. conversations that I never thought I’d have, and then falling into the pace of doing the whole ‘adulting’ thing, whilst also not really ‘adulting’ at the same time. it’s a weird dynamic to place and adjust to.
however, through the conversations I’ve been having, the thing I’ve gotten from them the most is that not everything has to be figured out at once. we’re all going through life trying to make ends meet, without actually really stopping to have gratitude despite the mess. it’s definitely easier said than done (I know), but it’s important to reflect, and it’s important to try and build foundations where you have a home, or at least feel you can create an essence of home.
we aren’t made to go through life alone. life isn’t something that entails us to be stressed 24/7 without caring for ourselves. knowing your value, and your worth is important -it’s okay to let yourself be loved, and it’s okay to ask for help when you feel like you can’t climb mountains or trek through fields alone.
in the end, we all want the same thing – to love, and to be loved.
give yourself space and time to give yourself some grace. grace being: loving yourself and others in the mess, despite the mess, even if you feel like you or them don’t deserve it. and, that may mean taking some time out or, spending more time doing what you want without expectation or having a set standard.
it’s okay for life to be carefree, you don’t always have to be in a hurry, and you sure don’t have to have everything figured out.
sunday, once more 